What Not To Say To A Foodie

I’m usually one of those people who look for the positives in everybody, but when it comes to this particular thing, sorry I’m not sorry, but you’ve reached your limits. You’ve actually shut down my brain’s mental capacity to look past those irksome words and it’s an instant Australian Idol-esque ‘no’ from me.

“Are you sharing?”

Only those close to me know how much I hate it when I’m ordering food at a restaurant, and the waiter stops me mid-sentence to ask if I’m sharing with someone else. Or when the waiter comes out with cheese fries, a large pizza and a fried chicken ranch salad (because I’m on a diet) and asks “Are you sharing?” Then it’s all over. Hell no, you did not just insult me and my five meals. What would make you think I would want to share this delicious spread of food with anyone else? If I was sharing this with my partner/friend/mum I think we would’ve stated so and asked for extra plates to share the food. Now you’ve gone and made it totally awkward, but mostly for yourself. Just put the dishes on the table, don’t say another word and quickly run back into the kitchen and scold yourself for assuming.

What gets me through these tough times is my loved ones. I was recently out for lunch with my best friend and we ordered pizzas. When the waiter (a different one that did not take our order) came out with one of the pizzas, they uttered the poison-laced words, “Is this just to share?” Thankfully, my best friend had it covered and gave a very terse “No.”

I may be rubbing off on those around me, which is actually me just doing a good deed for humankind in hopes that it will prevent this happening to others in the future, so yeah I’ll claim that.

Note: to everyone in hospitality- please never assume, just bring out the dish and ask who it’s for to avoid the whole did-you-just-call-me-fat-what-are-you-insinuating-no-we-aren’t-sharing-are-you-seriously-feeling-ok-why-would-you-ask-that situation.

Another note: I am fully aware that this maybe, possibly, could be a reflection of my underlying insecurities but hey, the customer is always right so bring in another round of onion rings, no questions asked. Except for if I would like dipping sauce with those, and in that case, yes, I would, please and thanks.


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